Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Community Theme Conversation - 9/13/2009 and 11/1/2009 Consolidated

Theme: Community (Six-Circle Composite, sorted into similar response clusters)

Circle Participants: Sally Wilson, Lyn Peterson, Carolyn Mitchell, Judy Willott, Andrea Tryon, Frank Petrie; Bea Dixon, Becki Maxwell, Rod Kempkes, Richard Wilson, Sheryl Hamm, Channie Peters; Diana Peters, Donna Moore, Jack Peterson, Robin Hanway, Karolynn Flynn, Roger Katz; Royce and Sarah Reid, David and Andrea Barnes, Jack Fiore, Maria Fiore, Donna Mohr, Rebecca Nyamidie, Julie Katana, Barb Saunders, Diane McCann, John McCann, Mary Romeo, Brian Sorensen, and Bill Scarvie

Question #1: What aspects of congregational community do you value most?

Commune with others who share common beliefs and values

Connection with other like-minded people, opportunities to share wide-ranging ideas

A community of friends with shared values, whom we might not otherwise have met

I value the opportunity to engage with people during the coffee hour

Developing local connections with friends, both old and new

It’s a place to go outside of one’s own extended family

The fact that Cedars is a strong community that offers a place to connect with people outside of family, outside of work; people with whom I share similar interests in spirituality and social perspectives

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It’s like a deeper family, a source of friends but more than friendship, an important part of life, support and inspiration. It’s also a place to make a greater contribution.

Able to get to know people on deeper level, growing together over time – sense a deep community more than just social; acknowledging there is more to learn for our personal growth

Events in people’s homes that expand opportunities to really get to know people, to share time with them in more intimate settings.

As a single person, I consider Cedars my family. I need a place to come to connect with people I respect and enjoy. This is what Cedars is for me.

Broad generationally, life-span, so can learn from each other & hear people’s stories and experiences

People reaching out to others—for example: Pastoral Care group contacting people who have lost a family member, or are experiencing other difficult times. This is meaningful to people, creates a feeling of belonging and being cared for.

Value of being with a group of people where you can express your private spirituality; interacting helps to be more accepting and compassionate

Joys & Sorrows provides an opportunity to get to know others a little more deeply. It’s a place that’s more accepting of who I am.

Intimate small group gatherings (get to know others very well)

Gatherings, dinners, getting to know others

Open and welcoming opportunities to connect older members with newer members

Very personal yet not structured – relates to life and us as community

Children are welcomed and cared for – a community working together

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Small group gatherings meeting on regular schedule for exploration of common theme – always welcoming new people to join the group

Checking-in opportunities

The opportunity to connect deeply with others

The opportunity to share my thoughts in a safe environment.

Confidentiality, trust, non-judgmental, valuing others for who and what they are

An opportunity to be heard without judgment, and a responsibility to hear others without judgment

Covenant Groups

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Communal groups working together

Church members working together in smaller groups

Helpline day - working with others who have similar spiritual leanings

Community of thinkers – dig in and do things

It provides an opportunity to give back with our talents.

Coming together for common purpose, e.g. social action, learning, having worship atmosphere sometimes

Events that get people working together outside of Sunday service.

Things like the auction that bring out peoples’ talents and gifts and get people working together.

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I appreciate that the congregation is free to practice religion in a way that suits their needs; there is no higher authority imposing things from above.

I like how today’s sermon (Crazy Quilt) reflects the diversity of the congregation.

That it feels like a non-judgmental group. Everyone’s accepted as they are.

It’s who you are, not what you are

The idea that authority resides within me, and not outside of me

Think on your own

Non-judgmental, bring our own religion, spirituality, etc.

Like minded – mutual respect

A feeling of respect for differences

Appreciate that it is a place to come where diverse perspectives are accepted and welcomed; find it a place where it’s okay to have less traditional views about religion. Likes Jaco’s non-theist point of view.

I came from a very conservative religious background, and I appreciate that there is no pressure to conform to a certain standard, and that there’s no mandate on how to dress, what can be said, and such.

Question #2: How might we foster a greater sense of community at Cedars?

“Hands out, smiles.”

This has been the most welcoming of the five UU congregations I’ve experienced.

We all need to make the effort to meet newcomers and talk with them each week.

Welcome newcomers but don’t overdo it, over-welcoming can scare people away.

Balance inviting newcomers and outreach with overwhelming newcomers and scaring them off

Find new ways to connect with new people without scaring them off. Maybe a stepped process could be developed: an initial contact from someone on the welcoming committee, maybe followed by an e-mail or phone call asking if they have any questions, as well as continuing to nurture a connection with them, without making them feel as if we’re stalking them.

Invite newcomers to become involved, but don’t overwhelm them with responsibilities like leadership right away.

Avoid pressure to participate and allow alternative opportunities to participate and to contribute

For newcomers, an historical review of recent developments in the life of Cedars: ministry, building plans, attempts to acquire land

Engage active non-members and encourage participation

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Actually create more opportunities to do things and connect with others (don’t just talk about it).

Develop gathering – social mixers, organized events, casual gatherings, and many-many opportunities

Create additional opportunities for more intimate interactions: Example was given of the greeting time within the service and how the energy of the group expands at this time. Take this as a tip off that people come alive when they are given opportunities to connect.

Increase opportunities to engage with others on important topics in small groups.

More invitations (personal touch) to people to join activities; reaching out more

Develop intimate personal community – i.e. choir – participant chosen group with personal connections

Getting to know each other in smaller groups (socially) with no special agenda so we can grow to trust each other

More small groups doing stuff – shared strengths and thoughts – shoulder to shoulder

More friendships and more opportunities to connect with others

Mentorship/friendship, personal connections

More opportunities to connect with people.

The “Dinner Connections” are wonderful and should be kept going.

Offer more family events: picnic, camp

Involve the youth group more

Integrate youth in worship.

“Small Group Ministry”

Dinners together in small groups

Talent shows, auctions, and reading groups

Talent Revue – builds trust, good time too

Game nights

Have an annual congregational retreat.

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Diversity

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Make building a stronger community an essential part of everything we do. For example, focus on team building in every committee and group as a way to enhance community. Make team building an integrated part of every gathering: examples: start meetings with a check-in or starter, personal sharing type question; include a chalice lighting, perhaps a reading—integrate ways to bring people into a deeper knowing and connection with one another at every Cedars event, gathering, or meeting. (“What you pay attention to expands.”)

Create projects that get people thinking beyond just their own needs and that get them more connected to others.

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Provide training in self-care; that is, learning how to set boundaries, how to say no and how to forgive yourself for doing so

Build a culture of right relations. Provide training in the principles and practices of right relations: issues such as gossip, disruption, conflict, trust

Extended ministerial care (visiting teacher)

Caring about the welfare of one another beyond the pastoral care team

Create an Emergency Fund for people who might need help from time to time. We could dedicate one of the year’s special collections to this. It could be decided whether this is a micro-loan or simply a gift. Lots of details to work out, but it is one way to offer help to people within our community that may need it from time to time.

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Strengthen neighborhood groups

Create better connections through the Neighborhood Teams. Provide team leaders with training on how to welcome and include new members of the team. New team members should be welcomed and encouraged to help, not marginalized because they are unfamiliar with the work.

Find ways to lighten the burden of organizing, so more appealing “doors” to participation

Make sure that newcomers are welcomed and included in neighborhood team activities.

Increase the frequency and variety of neighborhood teams.

Neighborhood teams should get together socially more often.

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Light the flaming chalice at all gatherings, as a reminder of who we are and who we are with

Have a “Suggestion Bowl” each Sunday into which people could write out and place comments, concerns, ideas they might have. We could also use this “bowl” as a way to gather feedback on a particular issue that the congregation might have. A rotating group of “monitors” could take over the responsibility to collect the comments each week. It might be fun to have a white board by the coffee table headed: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING. The monitor for the week would post some or all of the comments on the board for others to read. A complete tracking of the comments could be printed on the web-site, much like the Future Shapers Blog This way a record could be kept of people’s comments.


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